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Sex and Coffee

by Akbar Mueller

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1700s

Cause of Divorce?

Coffee was used by "experts" to increase sexual pleasure, going way back to the 1700's. Wives unofficially outlawed coffee, because the men could now really think for themselves (as opposed to the beer or grog induced stupor of the middle ages). Men resisted, women finally tried coffee themselves, and then did a 180. Now they began using coffee as a grounds for divorce! Now if a man could not provide coffee for his lovely wife, he was gone (and she kept the coffee pot). These were legal precedents set at least 300 years ago. Those poor men couldn't win.

Brothel Madams and Coffee Patents?

There are more international coffee patents held by brothel madams than men. In France, Germany, Italy, Spain, and Switzerland brothel madams own more patents than men each respective country. Why would brothel madams even go to the effort of patenting all these coffee making apparatuses? The were coffee junkies, and that caffeine buzz motivated them to get busy with some really cool coffee inventions. They of course believed that coffee helped them (and their Johns) in the sexual performance area, as well as provide an overall alertness. It was a match made, well, in a brothel.

MODERN DAY

First Date Drink of Choice

What do most people drink on the first date? Coffee of course! Regardless of how some may initially think that alcohol would be the best first date primer, how many first time meetings happen at coffee shops? The empirical evidence suggests about 90%. Coffee rules. Try having sex sometime drunk, and see if you really enjoy it (or remember it for that matter)!

Would You Give Up Sex or Coffee?

The high end coffeemaker and espresso machine company Capresso, did a survey in 2001 to see how serious people were about their coffee. They were all sexually active, coffee drinking adults who had internet access, and enjoyed chocolate.

The question was: If you had to give up one of the following for a month, which would it be? Coffee, Sex, Excuses, Internet access at home, or Chocolate?

Coffee was only second to sex on the priority list for both men and women. Maybe Sex and Coffee are more related than we think? And for women and men to have some sort of agreement? Mark that down, it is one of the few things men and women have ever agreed on. This is one for the history books.

Scientific Evidence

Caffeine is a stimulant. The effects of caffeine on the body tend to be immediate. All the organs and tissues are stimulated. Caffeine interacts directly with cells by changing chemical reactions within the cells. Caffeine indirectly affects cells by increasing epinephrine/adrenaline in the adrenal glands, as well as norepinephrine/noradrenaline hormones. These in turn stimulate cell activity. A small amount of caffeine can stimulate the brain cells, improving concentration and reaction times. It can also stimulate the heart, increasing the pumping action. Of course the clitoris and penis are filled with blood vessels, so the logical conclusion is that these organs benefit from increased blood flow, and in turn, enhanced sexual pleasure and performance. OK, OK, can we please finish the article before you dash off to brew that pot of coffee? Almost done, I promise.

Study of the Elderly

In a study of sexual activity in the elderly conducted by bio psychiatrists, the conclusion was that with at least one cup of coffee a day, elderly women had a much higher rate of sexual activity, and elderly men had a much higher potency rate. Source: Sexual function in the elderly.

Conclusion

We know that based on other articles on coffee and health, that a moderate intake coffee is probably not harmful, and may even be beneficial. So what about the tie-in to sex? Well it seems that caffeine intake may help in the sexual energy and performance area. Will it replace your Viagra, Cialis, or Levitra? Probably not, but it will not cause blindness either. So if you have gotten into the habit of taking a nap instead of having sex, maybe coffee is your answer. Just make sure to brush your teeth after that triple shot. We all know coffee breath is not very sexy.

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