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Coffee - A Day in the Life

by Tom Coffee

I like coffee. A lot. In fact, I've noticed that my every waking moment, and I have a lot of waking moments, is consumed by coffee because I'm always consuming coffee.

Here's a typical day for me:

6:15 - The timer on my bedside coffeemaker goes off, waking me to the sound of sizzling water and smell of roasted beans. I sip half a cup in bed before I open my eyes.

6:25 - I stumble to the bathroom with mug in hand where I turn on my in-shower coffeemaker and use the hot water to brew a fresh cup while I'm washing my hair.

6:40 - I brush my teeth with natural toothpaste made from coffee beans. No minty flavor is going to kill my buzz.

7:15 - I shave, dress and put on a tie all without ever putting down my mug. No, I can't explain it, either.

8:00 - I arrive at work and put a pot of coffee on.

8:15 - I put the pot on my desk and put on another pot for everyone else in my office.

9:45 - Needing a change, I grab a handful of used grounds and stuff them in my cheeks like chewing tobacco.

10:15 - Decide that really wasn't a very good idea considering the coffee at work is Folgers.

10:25 - I spit out the coffee grounds and chew on the used filter. That's better, but it's still Folgers.

10:27 - I spit out the filter and chew on my shoe. I'm satisfied.

12:30 - Lunch time! I buy a cup of coffee from the snack shop and a coffee power bar.

1:05 - I go for walk around the office while munching on some gourmet coffee beans.

1:30 - Weekly staff meeting! During our Vice President's presentation I grind some beans and pull out my French press. No one seems to mind.

2:35 - Back at my desk I hear a strange buzzing sound. I spend 30 minutes looking around before I realize it's the beating of my own heart.

3:50 - I put on one last pot of coffee for the road.

5:00 - I drive home with said pot in hand.

5:20 - I finish my pot of java, but I still have a long commute through traffic. Needing a little pick-me-up on the way home I stop and pick up a cup of iced coffee from a local coffee shop.

6:03 - For dinner I have some Coffee Roasted Beef Chuck, with a side of some Sweet Sausage Coffee Ring and a little piece of coffee cake. I finish with a shot of coffee liqueur for fun.

7:20 - I�m in the mood for something sweet so I run down to the local ice cream parlor and pick up a coffee milkshake.

9:00 - I make one more bedtime mug of coffee and slowly slip it for the rest of the evening.

10:15 - I go to bed a little earlier than usual because I just haven�t been sleeping very well.

I think it's time to get a new bed.